Recap {From Part 1}
Maintaining healthy friendships and relationships can present significant challenges for those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The emotional dysregulation characteristic of BPD can manifest in episodes of intense anger or irritability. These emotional outbursts may be triggered by perceived abandonment or rejection, causing distress for both the individual and those around them. While these reactions may seem disproportionate to outsiders, they often reflect underlying feelings of fear, shame, or inadequacy.
According to McClean Hospital, among the things that trigger BPD symptoms are rejection, separation, conflict, etc. These triggers could lead to self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and anger so dealing with such people requires extreme understanding and patience. This suggests the need to be gentle and wise when rejecting romantic advances or interests from someone you suspect might have BPD because a rash and direct rejection may trigger any of the discussed traits (impulsiveness, irrational behaviour, suicidal thoughts, etc.).
The main point to take from this is people with BPD traits require a lot of patience when you’re dealing with them. You may keep getting angry at them for things they don’t even understand how they affect you. If some of the BPD signs in part 1 of this article sound like you, you may need to take some step back to reflect on yourself, your attitude, how you react to situations, and how your actions or inactions may be affecting the people around you; especially those that genuinely care about you. For those who might have people around them who exhibit BPD traits, you can keep being patient with them but unfortunately, trying to help them would be a waste of time, and energy if they are not willing to see reason and help themselves. You may also end up damaging yourself in the process depending on how close you are and how much you care. You may want to raise concerns gently on how their actions affect you, affect others, or even recommend seeing a therapist.
How Can I Deal With BPD-Exhibiting Individuals?
1- Educate Yourself: Learn about BPD to understand the symptoms, behaviors, and challenges associated with the disorder. This will help you empathise with the person and respond more effectively.
2- Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to protect your own well-being. Consistently enforce these boundaries in a calm and respectful manner.
3- Validate Their Feelings: People with BPD often experience intense emotions and may feel invalidated or misunderstood. Acknowledge their feelings without necessarily agreeing with their perspective. Let them know that their emotions are valid and understandable.
4- Communicate Clearly: Use clear and direct communication when interacting with someone with BPD. Avoid ambiguous language or mixed messages, as this can lead to confusion and escalate tensions.
5- Practice Active Listening: Listen attentively to what the person is saying without interrupting or judging. Reflect back their feelings and thoughts to show that you understand and empathise with them.
6- Stay Calm: Remain calm and composed, even if the person becomes agitated or confrontational. Your calm demeanor can help de-escalate the situation and prevent further conflict.
7- Avoid Reacting Emotionally: Try not to react impulsively or emotionally to the person’s behavior. Instead, respond thoughtfully and empathetically, focusing on finding solutions or offering support.
8- Encourage Therapy: Encourage the person to seek professional help from a therapist who specializes in treating BPD. Therapy, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can provide coping skills and strategies to manage symptoms effectively.
9- Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone with BPD can be emotionally draining, so it’s essential to prioritise self-care. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.
10- Be Patient: Recovery from BPD takes time, and setbacks are common. Be patient and supportive, and celebrate progress, no matter how small.
Consulted Sources
- Kulacaoglu, F. and Kose, S., 2018. Borderline personality disorder (BPD): in the midst of vulnerability, chaos, and awe. Brain Sciences, 8(11), p.201.
- Macfie, J., 2009. Development in children and adolescents whose mothers have borderline personality disorder. Child development perspectives, 3(1), pp.66-71.
- Aguirre, B., 2011. Mood swings and BPD. Current Psychiatry, 10(4), pp.3-98.
Hall, M.A. and Riedford, K.M., 2017. Borderline personality disorder: Diagnosis and common comorbidities. The Journal for Nurse Practitioners, 13(9), pp.e455-e456. - Kulacaoglu, F. and Kose, S., 2018. Borderline personality disorder (BPD): in the midst of vulnerability, chaos, and awe. Brain Sciences, 8(11), p.201.
- Macfie, J., 2009. Development in children and adolescents whose mothers have borderline personality disorder. Child development perspectives, 3(1), pp.66-71.
- Aguirre, B., 2011. Mood swings and BPD. Current Psychiatry, 10(4), pp.3-98.
- Hall, M.A. and Riedford, K.M., 2017. Borderline personality disorder: Diagnosis and common comorbidities. The Journal for Nurse Practitioners, 13(9), pp.e455-e456.
- Anderson, J.S. and Crump, D., 2004. Borderline personality disorder: A view from the trenches, with special attention to its impact on family transition. Journal of Family Studies, 10(2), pp.254-272.
- Kreisman, J.J., 2018. Talking to a loved one with borderline personality disorder: Communication skills to manage intense Emotions, set Boundaries, and reduce conflict. New Harbinger Publications.
- Perseius, K.I., Ekdahl, S., Åsberg, M. and Samuelsson, M., 2005. To tame a volcano: patients with borderline personality disorder and their perceptions of suffering. Archives of Psychiatric Nursing, 19(4), pp.160-168.
- Newhill, C.E., Eack, S.M. and Mulvey, E.P., 2009. Violent behavior in borderline personality. Journal of personality disorders, 23(6), pp.541-554.